Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Journey of the Heart...

We are on a journey. Jud is by nature a calm, gentle, peaceful person. I tend toward that nature myself. He realized yesterday that he didn't want to think of this journey as one of "fighting a battle" against a "terrible enemy." I agree. The more we think of things in a peaceful manner, the calmer we are able to stay. One wonderful Buddhist friend suggested thinking of the cancer as a two year old whom you love but limit. Interesting, huh?

Yesterday was hard. We were at the University of Minnesota Pancreatic Cancer unit for five hours and talked to an oncologist and a surgeon. We saw the scans for the first time and it was a bit shocking to see this tumor which is squeezing three arteries. They both agreed that, at this time, he was not a candidate for surgery. They did feel, however, that even though his cancer was a little more serious that those that they usually have prepare for surgery, he was close enough. They talked about several types of chemotherapy and both independently suggested the milder of the two, along with radiation. In his case, less may be more. 

Tomorrow we see the oncologist at Park Nicollet, his clinic. In the next few days, he will be getting a PET scan to be sure that the cancer is not residing elsewhere in his body.

It is very likely that we will be taking off in the next few days to look at other treatment programs. At this point, I don't know where. I do know that I will take you with me on our journey. Your hope for Jud helps nourish my own.

Hope is a strange invention-Of this electric Adjunct
A patent of the Heart-Not anything is known
In unremitting action But its unique momentum
Yet never wearing out-Embellish all we own.
                                                               -Emily Dickinson


  1. Hi sweet friend.
    So glad to hear from you today. I have been thinking about you non-stop.
    I am hoping with you.
    Thanks for keeping us updated in this time.

  2. I truly believe that attitude is an important factor in getting through this thing called cancer. Sounds like you both have made some peace with it and are ready to do what needs to be done. I'm still thinking of you and praying for you both. I'm sorry this had to happen to you and your family.

  3. Oh, Suz! I'm just catching up with everyone today, and I find that you and your husband are going through so much...I'm so sorry! I love your attitude, however...such a great example to all of us.

    You will both be in my thoughts and prayers...a good attitude is so important to healing, which you are showing so beautifully!

    Much love to you, dear friend...we always learn things on our journeys...


  4. Many hearts are there with you all...cheering you on the path to wellness

    Your not "fighting" approach gives me chills and so much hope...beautiful and inspiring you all are!

    You are so good to share this journey...so many are thinking and praying for you and Jud and Kat

    The best is yet to come!
    Sending BIG Love your way...all ways!

  5. Positive thinking can do so much. As can peaceful thinking. You are such an inspiration, Sue. We are with you all the way.

  6. I am praying that there is a treatment out there for your Husband! Hang in there..

    Sandy xoxoxo

  7. it is the thing with wings...thinking of you

  8. Suz, I've been a follower of your blog for some time and was deeply saddened to read of your husband's diagnosis. I cannot imagine the depths and types of emotions that your family has been experiencing. Life can be so hard. But your hopeful attitude and the way you are walking together, step by step, is such an inspiration. My prayers will be with you & your family. Xo, Sue

  9. Calm and peaceful is a wonderful way to journey through your days. Prayers will continue as you pursue all of your options and then some. Breathe and love one another as you do each day...

  10. I love yours and Jud's attitude. I am praying for good things for this journey that you are beginning together.

  11. I will keep you and your husband in my thoughts. I believe in the power of positive thinking too. Best wishes to you both.

  12. Sweet Suz,
    I will definitely be with you in prayer and thought through this journey.
    Also, check doctorbradey.com for the bioessense. It will help the extra pain stress puts on you other than what`s already there. It will help that too-
    Thinking of you,
    Kim :0)

  13. I think the peaceful attitude is so much better for healing...I will be praying and sending good thoughts your way...XO

  14. There is ALWAYS hope and mine will know no bounds for you both. Hugs!

  15. Been thinking about you guys lots and hoping for the best, Suz. I love the prayer shawl and am glad to hear that your visit with Cathie was calming.

  16. Hi Susan. I am sending positive thoughts all the way from a Snowy Scotland. Take Care. Lynne M