Journey of the Heart...

We are on a journey. Jud is by nature a calm, gentle, peaceful person. I tend toward that nature myself. He realized yesterday that he didn't want to think of this journey as one of "fighting a battle" against a "terrible enemy." I agree. The more we think of things in a peaceful manner, the calmer we are able to stay. One wonderful Buddhist friend suggested thinking of the cancer as a two year old whom you love but limit. Interesting, huh?

Yesterday was hard. We were at the University of Minnesota Pancreatic Cancer unit for five hours and talked to an oncologist and a surgeon. We saw the scans for the first time and it was a bit shocking to see this tumor which is squeezing three arteries. They both agreed that, at this time, he was not a candidate for surgery. They did feel, however, that even though his cancer was a little more serious that those that they usually have prepare for surgery, he was close enough. They talked about several types of chemotherapy and both independently suggested the milder of the two, along with radiation. In his case, less may be more. 

Tomorrow we see the oncologist at Park Nicollet, his clinic. In the next few days, he will be getting a PET scan to be sure that the cancer is not residing elsewhere in his body.

It is very likely that we will be taking off in the next few days to look at other treatment programs. At this point, I don't know where. I do know that I will take you with me on our journey. Your hope for Jud helps nourish my own.

Hope is a strange invention-Of this electric Adjunct

A patent of the Heart-Not anything is known

In unremitting action But its unique momentum

Yet never wearing out-Embellish all we own.

                                                               -Emily Dickinson