Saturday, February 25, 2012

He is gone...





Jud died last night at 6:00 p.m. We were all circled around his bed singing "Amazing Grace" as he passed away. He suffered so much the last three weeks that I am relived that that part is over, though I am so sad he was gone. I know he is in a beautiful place free from pain.

It has been an exhausting few weeks. I slept very soundly with my two dogs who are very confused. One is now under my covers and the other is sleeping on Jud's side.

I know I have such hard times ahead but I am still feeling the peace of "singing him home." He was so brave in his struggle, taking care of each of us and the close friends who visited us in the midst of his dying.

I thank you all so much for your support of me during this fourteen months. You are remarkable friends and you mean the world to me. Please know how much you matter, You were there in the frightening nights when no one else was around. You have been there for me so consistently, so solidly.

I love you and thank you.

50 comments:

  1. Oh Suz. I couldn't believe it when I read it...there are tears in my eyes, but so much love in my heart for you and your sweet faith, bravery and poise. Your husband knows how much you love him...what a gift. You saw him through this every step of the way...and what a hard way it's been. Now you can both rest a little...all is well.

    You will continue to be in my prayers, dear, dear friend...I can't imagine how hard this will be for you, but I know that the faith you've relied on every day will continue to bless your life and give you peace. The Lord loves you, and He will be with you every step of the way...

    Sending so much love to you dear friend...wish I could do more.

    Julie

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  2. Oh Suz. Words cannot express the sadness I feel for you. Reading these words right now just shocked me although you've shared with us these last few weeks...Jud was such a strong force of life that it's hard to believe he's passed on. Over these last years I've grown to feel like I knew him and just adored him! His sweet face always would make me smile when I visited here. And of course your admirable, loving, honest, kind relationship was always an inspiration. You two were truly the couple that impressed me. I hope that the beauty of your marriage will bring you peace as these days and months go on. I hope you'll find strength in the memories and in the incredible person Jud was. I am happy to hear that you were all there singing him home...He is happy, at peace, and looking down on you dear Suz. My heart breaks for you, but I believe he had the best wife, daughter and life he could have wanted, and to be surrounded by you to the end makes me so glad. Thank you for letting your blog friends into this journey from day one...the strength, courage, love and faith you two have shown us has been priceless. You've given more than you've received. May you rest, and take good care of yourself now Suz. If you need anything, please email me. Many blessings and much peace to you.
    Love, nat

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  3. i am so sorry.
    i have enjoyed
    "meeting" jud
    through your blog,
    reading
    the love story your
    life created.
    you are a blessed
    woman, suz. my
    heart hurts for you.
    all my love to you.

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  4. Sweet Suz,
    I was so sad to hear that Jud has passed. I know how you feel - full of mixed emotions. That is how I felt with George. Sad to see him go, but happy we could all be by his bedside to see him off. The pain is gone, the suffering is no more. You are left with the most wonderful memories of life with him. And with the comfort that you both tried everything possible and you were there right by his side supporting him every step of the way. There will be hard times, but take it from me - surround yourself with family and friends and the journey will be much easier. Without them I would never have gotten as far as I have this past year. And remember, you now have an angel in heaven to watch over you.
    Hugs and prayers,
    xoxo
    jeanne

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  5. Hello, Sweet Friend: I am so very sorry for your loss and will keep you and your family in my prayers. May you have peace and comfort by the outpouring of love and care from your online community, Kris

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  6. I have no words suitable enough to comfort you at this heartbreaking time. Just know that I am sorry for your loss but rejoice in the knowledge that Jud is finally at peace. Be well my friend and know that hugs and a shoulder to cry on are waiting for you whenever you need them.

    ~~ Connie

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  7. My heart is breaking for you, Suz; even as I know you will be all right and that Jud has gone ahead and you will be reunited, one day. It has been such a privilege to get to know your husband. Thank you for sharing this journey with us.

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  8. Oh Suz, I'm so Sorry! All I'm going to say right now,,,,AND I MEAN it with all my heart, I'm "here" for you anytime you need a shoulder!

    Love you to pieces and BIG BIG Hugs and a Tear streaked "Bus" on the Cheek!

    Shell

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  9. Oh Suz, my heart is so full for you...I know this is a time of such mixed emotions. Such sadness, as I know you will deeply miss Jud, and the relief of knowing he no longer suffers. You have taken such good loving care of him, and you both really lived life to the fullest surrounded by family and friends who really care about and love you. To sing him off to heaven...how loved he must have felt. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you face the days ahead, for comfort and the peace which passes understanding...XOXO

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  10. Dear, dear Suz.
    I'm with you in spirit.
    If you need to talk with one who knows, I'm always here for you.
    Love, Colette

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  11. oh dear suz, with tears rolling down my cheeks, I hope you know how sad I am for your loss. It was evident that you and Jud had a wonderful marriage and life together. I too am glad that he is no longer suffering and that he is in heaven where there is no sorrow or pain. only great love and joy. And I'm grateful that you know thats where he is. Thank you for sharing this journey with us your bloggy friends so that we had the opportunity to pray for love you from all over the country.
    I can not imagine how hard its going to be, but I know you need to surround yourself with your friends and family. I know you will.
    I will continue to hold you and your daughter up in my prayers.
    so sorry Suz.
    with LOVE and PRAYERS
    vivian

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  12. Dear Suz. You and Jud and your family have shown such grace through this most difficult time. I am thankful Jud is no longer in pain. I am hopeful your wonderful memories will carry you forth. Healing Hugs to you dear.

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  13. Dear Suz,
    I am so, so sorry for your loss. I'm thinking of you and your family.

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  14. Oh Suz, My eyes are full of tears reading about Jud's passing. I'm glad he was able to leave in a peaceful way after being so uncomfortable these last few weeks but so sorry for your loss.

    You've been so brave and honest in the way you've shared Jud and this last year through your blog. Even though I've never met Jud, I feel like I've lost a friend.

    You're in my thoughts and prayers.

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  15. Sweet Suz I am so sorry for your loss. Knowing he is in a better place and pain free is a comfort to all believers! My wish for you and your family is knowing we all wrap you up in our prayers to comfort you in the days ahead!

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  16. Suz....as all the others have said so beautifully... I'm so sorry to hear this news. I read Kat's post on caring bridge last night and it really took my breath away. Jud was a marvelous man and it was a blessing to walk through these days with the two of you. Let God comfort you in these months ahead.... I know you will. Much love... I'll be praying...

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  17. Dearest Suz,-even I have been following your blog, and knew your Jud was going to say farewell, I did not expect it to happen so soon, and I am feeling misserable for you and your daughter, and all family.
    I know you have lived with knowlage of this would happen sooner or later, but I also know how very hard is is now, even you feel gratefull for him not suffering anymore.I pray for you to be able to find piece and comfort in the time to come.
    Warm hugs, and thoughts.
    Dorthe

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  18. God bless your sweet heart. Though it is gone for now, you will find him in everything you do later. Watch for those blessings. Thank you for sharing your heart. God bless and keep you and Kat in the days and weeks ahead.
    big hugs,
    Hope

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  19. sending lots of prayers and hugs your way Suz - to you and your family

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  20. Oh Suz,
    Sending you hugs over the internet, I am so sorry to hear of Jud's passing. It was wonderful to get to know of him these past couple of years. Praying for you guys still.
    Kate

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  21. Oh Suz you have been heavy on my mind lately, I just knew something had happened.
    I know you will have many difficult times ahead. Its so wonderful how you were all there for Jud in the end singing him home. So glad he has found peace now. I know how difficult this has been for all of you!
    Blessings to you your family, take the time you need to heal.
    Hugs Lynn

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  22. Oh Suz, I have no words. I can't take this pain from you, but I can be here to help you carry it. Yes, there will be hard tomes ahead, but I know how strong you are and we are all praying for you dear freind.
    sending all my love to you,
    June

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  23. Suz, I am so sorry for your loss. You and Jud have shown so much strength and grace these last many months and I am praying that you will find some peach in the coming months, knowing that he is finally at peace. I am thinking about you.
    Sarah

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  24. I admire you and Kat so much dear Suz for being able to find words at this time...
    Jud will leave a big hole...
    I will miss him and I've never even met him in person

    Jud was and always will be a VERY BRIGHT LIGHT...
    a beautiful example of embracing life and moving forward with Grace and Love

    You family is very special and I am honored to know you even from afar

    I will be praying that you find your way through your grief as smoothly as possible...

    you have a powerful angel looking after you now and if anyone can reinvent themselves you can Suz

    I think I am saying too much...when really what I would like to do is hold you and cry with you and be there with you...please know I am in spirit

    take care dear ones oxoxoxo

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  25. I am so very sorry about your beloved hubby passing on. How wonderful that you were singing to him...
    May you feel God's arms around you during the days ahead.
    Deb

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  26. Prayers for you and your family, Suz: I read those words with a heavy heart: what a wonderful journey you allowed your readers to go on with all of you: thank you.
    xoxo,
    Allison

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  27. Oh sweet dear Suz.

    It speaks volumes to how much you loved each other that you are even able to write this post.

    I love you dearly.

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  28. Oh Miss Sue, I cried when I read the CaringBridge update and I am crying now.
    You are so loved and this journey will be hard and you are not alone. There are so many things
    I want to say, but nothing seems "right". So know I adore you and that Jud will be missed. Sweet Jud and his fun ways.
    Hugs and many prayers from all of us...
    Stacie

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  29. Dear Suz,
    I'm so very sorry and don't know what to say.My thoughts are with you and your family.
    Sending hugs and prayers my friend,
    Marie

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  30. Dear Suz,

    My heart just breaks for you... Your incrediable love for each other and your faith in God will see you through these tough times. You and Jud have blessed me so much during this journey. May God give you strength and comfort.

    Wishing I could send a big hug throught this screen to you!

    You are in my thoughts and prayers.

    Hugs,

    Sheila

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  31. As I sat in church this morning, I prayed for all of my friends who are facing difficult times right now and when I got to your and Jud's names, I felt an enormous calm...I didn't know why. We were out most of the day and I have just come upstairs to check on your blog. You're never ready for this news...no matter how long it's coming. I'm happy for Jud that his pain is no more, while yours is just beginning in a new way. I have marveled many times at the grace and courage you have displayed for these last 14 months. I rejoiced when you were able to travel and make all of the memories that you did. Even in Jud's last photos, he had that charming smile. I, like so many others, feel as if I've come to know both of you through your blog. I will continue to keep you in my heart and my prayers. Now is your time to lean on your family and friends. Let them comfort you and love you. You will never be alone...God is keeping his arms tightly around you and will hold you close. Peace to you dear Suz~
    xoxo
    Joyce

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  32. Suz, I'm so sorry to read of your dear sweet Jud's passing. What a blessing he was surrounded by friends and family who sang to him on his journey.
    Sending you much love and courage to face this new chapter in your life.
    Big hugs Mx

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  33. I just happened upon your lovely blog and read your sad news... I send loving hugs and prayers for God's loving grace to you and your family - Deb

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  34. My prayers will continue for all of you, for strength and for the celebration of Jud's life. I understand your mixture of sadness and relief. Now I pray for the mornings that will return to you, when you greet each day with joy and renewal again as wonderful memories replace the pain of your loss. Truly...faith, friends and family will be there to help you heal now. Sending blessings.

    Hugs,
    Pat

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  35. Suz I'm so sorry that your heart is hurting. Thank you for sharing Jud with us during the last months - that was such bravery on your part. You and your family will remain in my prayers. Big hugs!

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  36. You have amazed me with your courage, Suz.
    Big hugs and much love to you and Kat.

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  37. Hi,
    Just stumbled upon you on pinterest completely by accident. Was thinking of you on this dreary and rainy day. Hugs during this difficult time,
    Kate

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  38. Dearest,

    Because of his brilliant light right next to yours, I will think of him always when I look to the heavens and see the brightest of the stars because I know that he leaves behind such a sparkling example of love, faith, and courage. Just like those stars, Jud's light will be here forever...his love for you, your precious daughter and all your extended families and circle of dear friends. I pray that his love and the love of all your friends near and far can sustain you in the days ahead. I send love and friendship across the miles. And I wish you a peaceful spirit this day. xoxox Rella

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  39. Oh Suz,
    My heart goes out to you and your family. And as you say Jud is now at peace and without pain. Prayers and hugs to wrap around you as you go forward in the next pase of your journey.
    Blessings,
    Catherine

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  40. OH NO! I'm so sorry and wish I had the proper words. I'm sitting hear teary-eyed because you have done so much to share Jud with us.

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  41. Thinking of you and praying for you every single day. xoxo.
    Lisa

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  42. Dear Suz and Kat ~
    Sending you both prayers of love and peace!
    May you always feel Jud's love surrounding
    you both and the peace of Christ in your hearts.
    Blessings dear ones,
    Katie

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  43. oh suz...i am so sorry for your loss...may you find much comfort in your sweet memories and strength in his love...xo

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  44. Hi Suz,
    Just on pinterest and see you have once again been pinning WONDERFUL pins, and was thinking about you. Wondering how you are doing, getting through this so difficult stage. If you ever want to do coffee or something, just email me. We could meet somewhere. Still praying for you!
    Kate

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  45. I'm in shock Suz!!! OMG my heart bleeds for you...I'm so sorry for your tremendous loss! I am crying as I try to type. Words can not express how badly I feel right now. I am here if and when you need someone to talk to!

    Big hugs! Sandy

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  46. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I have to tell you that I knew your husband. He was part of the evaluation team for my son 7.5 years ago at Alexander Center. I never forget a face. He was very kind to our family.
    I'm am so glad that you were able to be with him at the end. My father also had his last 24hrs in the Methodist in-patient hospice. They are so very supportive.
    Thinking of you....Halle

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  47. Dearest Suz and Kat....just stopping by to tell you that you have been on my heart every day and it is with a prayer for peace and comfort that I hold you close. xox

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  48. Oh Suz, I am so very, very sorry. I hope your memories of Jud will bring you comfort. I was always hoping for a miracle for you two. Love and hugs coming your way. Take care of yourself.

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  49. Adding my heartfelt prayers to the many that share your sadness.

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