Happy Father's Day, Dear Jud

As a new widow and a bereaved daughter, certain days have been harder than others without our beloved Jud. We have falling into our routine for these days and I feel so blessed to have a loving adult daughter.

Kat and I usually start our "difficult days" sitting on the couch together eating "brunch" (i.e. no eggs, bacon, or toast but instead, guacamole, cupcakes, good cheese and whatever treats either Whole Foods or Trader Joe's can provide. We nosh, we hug, we play on our computers, we watch a good movie, we remember and we cry. Then we repeat the whole routine all over again.

This Father's Day, we added something new to our day of remembrance. Ashton, Kat's boyfriend, joins us for dinner (which he usually cooks for us). Before dinner, we had a special ritual for Jud. I bought helium balloons and we wrote him notes on shipping tags and attached our messages to the balloons. We told him how much we loved him, how very much we were missing him and what we were remembering on this day. 

We went out to Monkey Island, the playground in the center of our cul de sac, and let go of our balloons, sending them symbolically up to him. 

Then we gave each other the biggest hugs we could muster. Grief is painful but grief shared is less painful. Our love for each other is helping us through these hard times. 

We are thankful to Ashton who took these pictures which will help us remember the first Father's Day with both a tear and a smile.

Remembering one of Jud's favorite foods, we had grilled steaks, prepared by Ashton, and covered with Essie's barbeque sauce, a favorite of Jud's. 

We will always miss him but are thankful for so many things, good friends, good food and each other.