Thursday, March 17, 2011

Sending Me Angels...

Alright, I know this video would never pass the "angel rule" in my house (one angel comes in, one goes out). Jud probably wouldn't let this one in the door! In truth, I prefer the Kathy Mattea version (not on You-Tube) but I do resonate to a "gravelly voice." I see it as an indicator of someone of has really "seen a lot of life." 

"Sending Me Angels" has special meaning for me. My dear friend, Donna and I, used it for one of our annual women's retreats in the Black Hills, which focussed on women's friendships. I found myself humming it last night. We have certainly been blessed with friendship during Jud's illness.

I need to get to the point. We received some bad news yesterday. Jud's cancer has spread to his liver. There are two very small spots, but pancreatic cancer cells are powerful and insidious and spread quickly. Surgery isn't an option. We were not expecting this news and were initially in shock. We had done a lot of reading and research about surgery but did not want to look at the idea of metastases.

We came back to Pam and Barry's and called family.  Jud wrote a Caring Bridge entry. Next we pulled out our computers and started reading about the next options for treatment. Ah, the modern age! 

We read for about four hours and then we had a good cry. We were not prepared for this. 

I woke up early this morning (actually eight o'clock Minneapolis time) and the sun is now rising.  This morning we will visit a medical oncologist at Stanford who specializes in chemotherapy for pancreatic cancer. We are back to the task of looking at options. We plan to look at various research programs across the country but, again, we hope that Jud can get his actual treatment in Minneapolis. 

Jud's Caring Bridge is full of loving messages from people who were hoping with us. I took a peek and see that my mailbox is full. I had beautiful, caring thoughts waiting for me when I arrived here at my blog yesterday.

Indeed, He does keep "Sending Me Angels."
We will get through this.
We are surrounded.
We are being "held up" by the angels in our life. 

I thank each of you, from the depths of my heart, for being one of those "angels."


  1. Oh Suz... I am so sorry! I will continue to keep you both in my prayers! The right treatment has to be out there and available in Minneapolis! It just has to!
    Hugs and lots of love!

  2. There will be a suitable option. There has to be. Let it be so. xoxoxo

  3. love & angels
    i pray your way.

  4. Suz; God is bigger than anything in this world, including Cancer. I am deeply praying for you and Jud! May His peace be with you all the way! Many hugs and many blessings and may you feel the presence of His angels every second of every day! Much love Dear friend! Much love!

  5. My sweet Suz, my heart hurts for you and your family. May the strength of your angels bless you during this difficult journey.
    With all that is on your plate I do not know if you would have time, but you might take a look at a class offered by The Brave Girl's Club, Soul Restoration

  6. Hi Suz, Oh I am so sorry, I have been thinking of both you so much this week. Please take care. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs, Terri

  7. Suz, know that prayers are going for all of you and your doctors. Angels are sent to hold us up when we go through rough times, at least that's my belief. They come in all sorts of shapes and sizes and I know you have many around you both and Kate.
    love you,

  8. I like this song. I'm sorry about the news. I'm so sad right now for you and Jud. I'll keep praying for a miracle.

  9. keeping those prayers coming your way Suz, xoxo

  10. Oh Suz, you and Jud will remain in my prayers. Never stop hoping. Hugs!

  11. OH damn. that is so unfair. I will keep sending up my prayers. Its got to be very difficult to go through. I cant help but to think of how people with out faith and belief in God get through it.. can you? Our God is an awesome God, and he will sustain you and carry you.
    and prayers

  12. I'm so sorry that you did not get good news. I will keep you both in my thoughts. I do believe in angels and even miracles! Wishing both for you.

  13. so sorry suz for this news. wishing you and your sweetheart the sweetest of blessings.
    hang in there- i do believe in angels!

  14. Prayers continue being sent as you research other options. Very sorry to hear of this outcome. Stay positive and never give up. Blessings so dear...

  15. Dear Suz,
    I'm so sorry about the bad news, please don't give up hope. Sending big hugs and prayers.

  16. Oh Suz, I'm so sorry that you and Jud didn't receive better news. This insidious disease called cancer keeps you on a roller coaster ride, that is for sure. George and I had received very similar news during our journey so I know what you are feeling. I continue to send you love and prayers. Remember, miracles DO happen.

  17. Oh Suz, I'm so sorry about your news but you *do* have so many people praying for you and Jud and all the doctors who are treating Jud - I hope you can find some comfort and peace during this time. I am continuing my prayers!

  18. Sweet Suz. So sorry about the news but know that we are still looking up and have you in our hearts and prayers! Keep your chin up girl!

  19. oh my Dear Ones...
    wishing you continued courage
    and continued strength...

    prayers and hopes still held high

    angels wings surrounding you all
    with comfort and Love

    where are the right words ... hoping you know what's in my heart

  20. I so hope y'all will be able to find awesome treatment options close to home. I'll be sending good thoughts your way!

  21. Oh Suz, I've been away from blogging for a while - and just got your news. I'm so sorry for this unexpected setback! I'm not much of an angel most of the time, but I will do my best to keep my wings fluttering with hope and prayers for you and Jud...

    - Susan

  22. So sorry, Suz. Keeping you both in my prayers. xoxo Nancy

  23. I'm so sorry, Suz...I will keep you both in my prayers for some helpful treatments in the days ahead! Sending caring thoughts your way...XO